Why so cheesy, my lady?
by dagomir
Summary: Food-inspired ShizNat one-shots collection. Or maybe drabbles. Cute and pointless. AU and OOC in abundance. Read at your own risk!
1. China Chow

_**The hidden foodie in me strikes again. **_

_**Author's rambling, if you're only interested in the story, skip to next paragraph. ~~ I wanted to write a Dessert for that Soup/Menu mini-series some of you hopefully remember. Life, as it often happens, forced me to revise this plan. Not sure if you still read me but I will miss you, J.~~**_

_**Here I bring you the beginning of a small one-shot collection. A handful of food-inspired ShizNat stories. Fluffy, sweet and pointless. No set timeline or universe but mostly with our ladies as an established couple. OOC in abundance.  
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_**In keeping with the previous food stories, this collection will be called **_**Why so cheesy**_** - as a reference to the cheese plate often served at the end of a meal. And, well, they will be cheesy XD**_

_**Have fun!**_

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><p>It was not the first time when Natsuki was at the China Chow.<p>

In truth, given the uncanny love for Chinese cuisine displayed by Shizuru in these last few months, it was a wonder they had not yet been offered a loyalty card. They came here for Saturday dinners, for Wednesdays shumai lunches and for the all-you-can-eat events the restaurant organised every once in a while. And whenever Shizuru felt like it, they came as well.

Or maybe she should rather say, they used to come.

Anyway, it wasn't Natsuki's first time in the restaurant, yet it was the first time when she really noticed some rather unusual things about the decorations. Like that huge fish tank in the corner - completely empty. Was it always that way - just a prop to fill the space - or had all the fish died in some sudden and unexpected manner and the restaurant staff didn't have time to replace them? Or maybe - just maybe - it was where crustaceans were kept before cooking and they already sold out.

And then, the paper lanterns under the ceiling. Natsuki didn't know Chinese but she tried comparing the signs to kanji and the results were pretty… strange. She always thought that the writing on the things was more along the lines of good wishes or maybe some inspirational quotes. Apparently, she was wrong all her life. The lanterns in the restaurant sported signs reading 'Cantonese fried noodles', 'sesame pickled vegetable' and 'black beans beef in oyster sauce'. Either kanjis were further removed from Chinese writing than Natsuki thought, or the lanterns doubled as some moderately fancy menu.

Rubbish.

She didn't care a whit about the tank, the lanterns or the wilting plants by the doorway. What she cared about was not there.

Who she cared about.

Furiously, Natsuki shoved some rice in her mouth and reached for a slice of Peking duck breast. Smirking, she dipped it generously in mayonnaise but as she was about to take a bite, she faltered. Somehow, without the presence of that one person teasingly reminding her of how unhealthy it was, Natsuki's favourite condiment lost half of its appeal.

Two tentative bites later, the girl chuckled ruefully and with resignation asked the passing waitress to take the mayonnaise back.

Biting lightly at her chopsticks tips, Natsuki looked at the array of small dishes laid out before her. She tried to remember what made her come here and order their usual couple set. After all, it wasn't that Shizuru suddenly stood her up. By now she should have grown accustomed to the thought of eating alone.

Being alone.

Maybe she could ask to have the food packed, take it away and reheat the next day? Or share it with that group of hobos camping permanently near her apartment lot. They would probably appreciate some nice food like that.

Smiling to herself, Natsuki absentmindedly picked up a bit of sweet and sour steamed salmon. And then another one. And one more.

In that moment, Natsuki realised why Shizuru insisted on always including that particular dish in their order. She pulled the small plate closer and scanned the dishes for another of the Shizuru's favourites.

Pickled radish tasted all too familiar, almost like Shizuru's lips on Saturday nights.

If she closed her eyes, maybe she could imagine Shizuru being there with her. Maybe she could still save this evening.

And so Natsuki did just that: closed her eyes and imagined her lover sitting across the table, smiling gently at her from behind folded hands. Keeping that picture in mind, she bit into a shrimp dumpling and sighed happily. Almost perfect. She could even hear Shizuru's barely restricted giggle.

When she opened her eyes, the vision was still there. Shizuru so lifelike that almost impossible to discern from the real thing, down to the mirthful sparkle in the red orbs that always accompanied some particularly delightful tease.

"Hello, pretty," mouthed Natsuki.

"Hello to you too," came the mouthed answer.

Natsuki picked up another piece of the salmon and once again closed her eyes, picturing feeding it to Shizuru. Were the other woman really with her, she would never do something so cheesy. But as it was, she planned to follow every possible scenario to make this evening even better.

To her surprise though, someone seemed to take the bite from her chopsticks.

Natsuki gasped and her eyes shot wide open.

Stretched across the table, Shizuru slowly finished chewing the fish.

"Thank you, Natsuki." Stretching even further, she plucked the chopsticks from the bluenette's pliable fingers, put them aside and placed a quick kiss at the corner of Natsuki's gaping mouth. "I was getting pretty hungry."

"You! How… why… when…"

"Ara, I see Natsuki ordered only one portion of rice." The brunette slid into the seat next to Natsuki, forcing the girl to squeeze closer to the wall. "It's so romantic of you, dear."

"Romantic? How's that romantic?" Natsuki tried to regain some sitting space.

Unsuccessfully.

"Why, dear." Shizuru reached for a new pair of chopsticks and broke them apart. "Because now we'll have to share it."

Giving up on finding enough space to sit comfortably, Natsuki pulled Shizuru onto her lap.

"What about that super important board meeting you couldn't miss today?" The bluenette retrieved her own chopsticks and fumbled with them while trying to grip them with one hand.

"No meeting is more important than keeping my Natsuki company."

Rolling her eyes, Natsuki placed a quick kiss on Shizuru's cheek. She knew that once Shizuru got into that playful mood, she could never win.

She had already grown accustomed to that.

After all, it was not the first time when she was there.


	2. Spice & Honey

_**More shameless foodie fluff! Can't wait till Christmas and baking my own gingerbreads *wink wink***_

_**WARNING: This chapter gets a bit... naughty...**_

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><p>"Can I take a peek?"<p>

"No, I've told you already."

"Just a teeny tiny little peek?"

"No."

"Mou… How about a whiff then? I'll close my eyes and just get a bit of the smell?"

"You do realize you're behaving like a child now?" A throaty chuckle and head shaking. "Nope, not even a whiff. Not yet."

"Not yet." A quiet humming. "How about now then?"

"Shizuru!"

Shizuru huffed and pouted but eventually gave up and sauntered closer to Natsuki who was currently browsing through their music CDs collection. Looping her arms around the other woman's waist, the brunette propped her chin on Natsuki's shoulder.

"What are you looking for?"

Natsuki went through a couple more albums before answering.

"We need to set the right mood for that. Got to make it perfect for your first time." The bluenette winked at her lover and finally picked up two CD cases. "TSO or Ella?"

Shizuru looked closer at the two albums.

"Much as I love Trans-Siberians, _The Ghosts_ are a bit all over the place."

"Too random, you say?" Natsuki shrugged and put the CD back. "You might be right. Ella it is then." She placed the other disc in the player and started it. Smooth, jazzy tunes filled their small apartment, complemented with Ella Fitzgerald's silvery voice.

"Later on, we'll conspire," crooned Natsuki, pulling Shizuru closer and catching her soft lips in a quick, gentle kiss. "As we dream by the fire…" Holding her partner close, she swayed them round the room, pulling the shades down and turning the lights off. "To face… unafraid… the plans…" Shizuru seemed adamant on kissing the words away from her lover's lips. "...we made…"

Eventually, the two of them stumbled into the kitchen, breathless from laughing and making out.

"Are you ready, love?" asked Natsuki looking Shizuru in the eye. Having got an eager nod, she went into the pantry and retrieved a cloth covered ceramic bowl. She set it on the kitchen island and motioned for Shizuru to sit down.

While Ella dreamt about white Christmas, Natsuki smiled enigmatically like an illusionist about to perform a trick and raised the cloth barely enough to peek under it. She touched the bowl contents with her forefinger and frowned as if deep in thought.

Shizuru sat straighter in her chair, barely restraining her giddiness. The only thing keeping her from uncovering the bowl herself was a pretty solid premonition that Natsuki would never let her live with showing that kind of impatience.

"Ta da!" Just as she was about to burst out, Natsuki winked at her captivated audience and removed the cloth with a flourish. "What do you think?"

Shizuru took a deep breath in and the enchanting smell of matured gingerbread dough filled her nose so she sighed happily.

"Smells lovely. Looks like it might have been worth the three month wait after all." She nibbled on a bit of raw dough fed to her by Natsuki. For a moment, Shizuru revelled in the gentle sweetness of honey and when the spicey afternotes hit her tongue she actually moaned in delight. "Yesh. Defin'ly worth't."

"Stop it, you!" Natsuki let out a throaty chuckle when Shizuru licked at her fingers, apparently trying to gather the sticky bits of dough from them. Fighting with her own barely-restrained desire to continue, she pushed her lover toward the kettle. "Go, make yourself some tea while I prepare the cookie cutters."

A cup and a half of green tea, seven quick kisses and two deep ones, one pair of floured hands leaving prints on a shapely bottom and some twenty minutes later, the first tray of gingerbread cookies was already baking in the oven.

"All those shapes are so boring," pouted Shizuru. She was currently trying to decide which cutter she should use next. "I already made enough love-filled hearts to feed my Natsuki for the rest of her life…"

"You're predicting me an awfully short life, dear," Natsuki commented jokingly and bumped her hip against Shizuruwhile carrying another tray closer to the oven. "How about some one-bite-sized stars? We could use them to fill the treats bowl for when we're playing."

Shizuru put the cutters away and with a theatrically heavy sigh refilled her tea. Hiding her face behind a porcelain rim, the brunette complained:

"But I wanted to make something special just for you."

"Then don't use the cutters." Fighting the blush slowly rising on her cheeks, Natsuki resumed her place at the flour-dusted counter top. She was fully aware of a silly smile gracing her lips but there were moments like this, with Shizuru at her cutest, when she just didn't mind. "Just play with the dough like you would with clay."

Seeing that Shizuru followed her advice and was currently kneading a lump of dough with one hand, Natsuki set about making the tiny stars she mentioned earlier.

The task consumed her so completely that it took her a while to hear her partner asking a question.

"Come again?"

"I asked…" Shizuru paused, concentrated on giving her cookie the desired shape. "If you can put icing…" Another focused moment. "On gingerbreads."

"Probably. Glaze is much more popular, though. Or chocolate…" Natsuki hummed and grinned dreamily. "Why?"

"Ara, I wanted to make a dog-shaped cookie for my Natsuki but decided I need some practice first. So I made this for myself and it turned out better than expected." She took a half-step back to better assess her creation. "Looks so good, in fact, that it makes want to slather it with loads of icing just to lick it off."

"Lick it off? What are you…?" Natsuki glanced at her lover's cookie. It took all of three seconds for the image to register in her mind and for her to do a double take. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Of course it is!" Shizuru beamed, proud of herself for recreating Natsuki's womanly parts so faithfully. "I made it from memory but daresay it looks exactly like the real thing, down to that tiny button that makes Natsuki melt." A quiet gasp tickled her ears. "So I want to lick the icing off just to see if it would taste at least partially as good as my Natsuki."

"How old are you, Shizuru?" Natsuki couldn't help an embarrassed chuckle. She took another quick look and had to force herself to focus on the dough in her own hands lest she'd give in to the temptation to do some licking herself. "You behave like some horny adolescent guy."

Shizuru only hummed and opened the second drawer. She rummaged in it for a bit without a word.

"What are you looking for?"

"Chocolate drops. What else would you like to use to finish your," Shizuru cleared her throat, "your perfectly decent gingerbread cookie?"

"Perfectly dece~~," Natsuki trailed away when she looked down at what she unconsciously made.

At the cookie shaped like Shizuru's boobs.

Natsuki opened her mouth to say something but gave up with a sigh.

Right at that moment, the oven timer went off and saved her from having to make up some shoddy excuse.

"You know what?" Natsuki hastily took the tray out from the oven and almost threw it onto the stove top. "Screw the gingerbreads." She grabbed all the dough from the counter and put it back into the bowl. "Come with me."

She pulled Shizuru out of the kitchen and toward their bedroom, stealing kisses on the way.

They only stopped for a moment, to turn the music up.

Jazz might not've been created for baking but there was no better soundtrack to what they were about to do.

_As long as you love me so  
>Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…<em>


	3. Red Front Door

_Not much food in this one and I'm afraid it may be similar to one of my past stories. But! it came from a different inspiration source so I decided to post it._

_Merry Christmas, girls and guys, and enjoy~!_

=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=

13:42.

She could make it. Twirling a fountain pen in her hand, Shizuru decided she could definitely make it. It was just two more hours after all. Well, two and a half. Still less than three, though.

Nodding encouragingly to herself, the woman pushed her bangs away from her eyes and focused on the next document. She carefully typed it, compared to her notes to avoid any mistakes and printed it out in two copies. After finishing the certificate with all the necessary stamps and signatures, Shizuru organised the papers in a neat stack and put them it in the appropriate file.

13:44.

Someone must have tampered with her clock. It was physically impossible for time to run that slow. Throwing an annoyed look at the offensive object, Shizuru decided that she would not make it.

Not without some help anyway.

Getting up from the desk, Shizuru grabbed her empty mug and wandered to the recreational corner. She started the kettle and grabbed a random teabag from the communal drawer. This made her feel like a junkie - usually she wouldn't settle for anything less that a properly brewed leaf tea - but she needed theine fix. Without the right levels of tea in her bloodstream she could not function productively.

Scratch that. She could not function at all.

With the ceramic mug gently warming her hands and the familiar smell tickling her nose, Shizuru leisurely returned to her desk. She took a moment to reorganise the paperwork and put back up the only personal item on her workstation, a small picture frame that somehow got misplaced in the end-of-year frenzy.

It was a picture of Natsuki - her friend, her soulmate, her lover. With her head bend, the dark-haired woman was focused on the camera in her hands, fumbling with some switches. Back then, she had something with her eyes, conjunctivitis or maybe a hay fever, and had to wear glasses to prevent further irritation. The delicate rims only added to her charm and Shizuru couldn't help capturing this sight.

Now, the honey-haired civil servant smiled fondly at the memory and the perspective of a phone call they would have later that night. Long-distance relationship had its better and worse moments but the calls were definitely a highlight of any day.

The first sip of the tea and another look at the wall clock made Shizuru's blood run faster.

13:57.

Yes, she could make it.

=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=

It wasn't that she wanted to go home. Other than the promise of a phone call, there was nothing waiting for her. And even that she could make from anywhere so there was no real need for her to go back to these four walls that meant nothing more than just a place to sleep.

When did she start to perceive her apartment as only that? At the beginning, she loved the place. It might not have been too spacious or located in a particularly attractive area but it was her own. She got a nice view from the living room windows, could easily commute to work and - the most important thing, she realised - Natsuki was living nearby, just two tram stops away.

Fishing for the keys in her coat's pockets, Shizuru noticed the reddish stain on the front door. It was there since forever and nothing could remove it. The woman remembered how Natsuki once - in a fit of desperation after another lost stain-fighting session - proposed they just paint the whole thing red.

"Red? Are you crazy?!" Shizuru found the idea not only ridiculous, but completely appalling.

"There's this place called home, you know?" Mirthful twinkle in Natsuki's eyes was a dead giveaway that the older woman unexpectedly walked into the trap. "With the red front door and all that cheesy sappy stuff." She was obviously referring to the Christmas Carol musical they had watched, per Shizuru's insistence, the previous night. There was no hiding it that the office lady enjoyed it much more than her companion. "Should I go and get my brushes?"

"Don't you even dare, Kuga Natsuki!" The menacing tone of Shizuru's voice didn't impress Natsuki in the slightest. It eventually took a threat as drastic as no intimacies for a week to effectively deter her from the idea.

Shizuru chuckled lightly at the memory and tapped the stain with her free hand. Maybe one day she should just grab a brush and actually repaint the door just as suggested. Soon, to surprise Natsuki if by some wicked chance she decided to visit. Not that this would happen anytime soon, given the nineteen hour ride separating them and Natsuki's wicked working hours.

One day, maybe.

Some other day.

Not today.

This evening all she wanted was to do was stretch on the couch and wait for that low, loving voice to ring in her ears.

With that thought in mind, Shizuru stepped past the threshold and locked the door behind. She put the keys in their bowl on the shoe rack and set the takeout bag right next to it. Methodically, she unbuttoned her winter coat, removed it and placed on the hanger. Slipping the shoes off her feet, she actually groaned in relief as the cold tiled floor touched the soles of her feet.

Lack of slippers in their usual place gave Shizuru a little halt in her everyday coming-home ritual. Soon enough though, the woman simply shrugged and decided to stay barefoot. On her toes, she scampered to the kitchen, dropping the takeout on the coffee table in the living room on the way. Without turning the light on, she took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with tap water.

Soft moonlight washed over the brunette's face and she remembered another night, her first one in this apartment. There was no party, just her and Natsuki but one thing led to another and in the end they christened every surface that could support their combined weights. The kitchen sink included. Bathed in the same moonlight, Natsuki looked ethereal and Shizuru almost stopped the act, full of wonder at such a beautiful creature choosing to be with her.

Shizuru stifled a whimper as a twinge of longing squeezed her heart and she felt an overwhelming hunger that no Filipino takeout could sate. On top of that, her mind was playing most cruel tricks on her, making her feel as if her love was within arms' reach. But she knew it wasn't true. For the last six months, ever since her transfer to an overseas branch of her company, Natsuki was almost a world away.

No, she shouldn't think that way.

Natsuki was a phone call away. The phone call that would soon happen.

And that's what made her feel Natsuki's presence. Simple as that.

Nodding decisively to brace herself for some more wait, Shizuru closed the tap and took her glass to the living room.

No sooner did she sit down by the coffee table and unpack her takeout boxes than her phone rang.

"Natsuki!" A bit surprised, though not in an unpleasant way, Shizuru greeted the caller. "Off duty already?"

"You could say so." Natsuki chuckled and this low sound tickled the brunette's ears. "I got this… feeling that my girlfriend might need me a bit earlier than usual."

Something rustled in Shizuru's kitchen.

"You learned some telepathy abroad? Nifty!" Picking at her fried noodles, Shizuru sighed wearily. "I do need you."

Another rustle.

"What happened, love?" In an instant Natsuki dropped the playful tone and sounded really worried.

"Nothing, really. I'm just… I'm overworked and have no one to cuddle up to at night." Yet another rustle caused Shizuru to turn her head. "Could you wait a moment? I think I heard something in the kitchen."

"Maybe it's just a wind, you never close windows properly. Better tell me more about that cuddling."

Some nervousness crept into Natsuki's voice making Shizuru frown. Still, it was true that she often left windows slightly ajar to let the fresh air in so she dropped it.

"Does my Natsuki miss our cuddling too? Or is it something else that she misses? Something more… naughty?" Hitched breath made her smile and continue: "I need to imagine you every now and then, having fun with you, or else I would forget what my Natsuki feels like…"

If phones could transmit heat, Shizuru's left ear would at that moment set on fire. She was about to comment on how cute the other woman's blush must have been at the moment and how much she'd like to see it when something crashed in the kitchen.

"Someone's here." She was getting really scared. "I'll check it out. If I'm not back in five minutes, call the police."

Without hanging up, Shizuru stood up and slowly trod toward the kitchen. For the time being, the noises quietened. Grabbing some small but heavy figurine from the dresser, the woman remembered the layout of her kitchen. Light switch was on the left, right next to the entrance. Taking deep breath in and saying a quick prayer, she stepped forward.

When the light went on, three things registered in Shizuru's mind at once.

The window she had indeed left ajar.

A leather jacket laying across the counter.

Natsuki standing by the stove, spoon in her hand, completely petrified.

Before she could process any of the three, something bubbled, hissed and Natsuki jumped, desperately trying to salvage whatever she was cooking.

If the quiet curses were any indication, it was a losing fight.

Shizuru stepped in behind Natsuki, plucked the spoon from her hand and moved the pot to a cold burner. Snuggling into the crook of the bluenette's neck she whispered:

"Welcome home, Natsuki." She laid a quick on a heated cheek. "Welcome home." Natsuki mumbled something, obviously dissatisfied but Shizuru had nothing of it. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming."

"Wanted to surprise you. You know, waiting for you with soup when you come home tired from work." The younger woman turned round and returned the hug. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Oh hush!" Shizuru silenced her lover with a kiss. "I'm sure the soup can be saved. And even if not, it's not important."

"It's not?" teased Natsuki, brightening up and playing with the other woman's hair.

"Not important at all."

Before she let herself be pulled into another kiss, Shizuru glanced at the clock.

21:26.

She made it.


End file.
